Try Not to Crack a Rib Laughing
Memphis man arrested after discovering pit bull security system comes standard with free grill
H/T Wynn
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MEMPHIS, TN — A Memphis man learned the hard way this week that not every backyard appliance is part of the city’s unofficial “take what you can carry” rewards program.
Police say 41-year-old Leonard “Lil Riblet” Barksdale allegedly hopped a privacy fence in Southeast Memphis around 2:13 AM after spotting what he reportedly described as:
“a lightly supervised gas grill.”
According to neighbors, Lil Riblet moved through the backyard “with the confidence of a man who’s never once considered consequences.”
That confidence lasted approximately four seconds.
Because waiting in the yard was Memphiszilla…
a pit bull described by witnesses as:
“Built like a refrigerator with childhood trauma.”
Authorities say the dog immediately activated what experts are now calling:
“The Find Out Phase.”
Neighbors reported hearing screaming so intense one woman thought somebody was auditioning for a gospel solo three streets over.
One resident said:
“That man hit notes that could remove wallpaper.”
Police say Lil Riblet attempted multiple escape strategies, including:
• Climbing a trampoline
• Throwing a lawn chair as a peace offering
• Yelling “BAD DOG” in a voice cracking like a middle school clarinet
• And at one point allegedly trying to negotiate:
“Bro please… I don’t even need the grill anymore.”
But Memphiszilla was reportedly unmoved.
Investigators say the suspect eventually climbed onto a patio table and called 911 HIMSELF while the dog circled below like a furry tax collector.
Dispatchers reportedly struggled to understand him because he was simultaneously crying, wheezing, and screaming:
“HE GOT MY SLIDES!”
When officers arrived, they found Lil Riblet apologizing directly to Jesus.
The homeowner later announced Memphiszilla would receive:
Two T-bone steaks
Full neighborhood hero status
Unlimited backyard patrol privileges
And possibly a commemorative plaque near the smoker
Online, Memphis residents immediately renamed the dog:
“The Grill Reaper.”
Moral of the story:
In Memphis, you might steal somebody’s grill…
…but sometimes the grill comes with teeth.
America doesn't have a race problem. It has a problem race. If the pit bull had killed this clown, Black activists would sue for damages.
I would refer to Barksdale as a dumb nigger but that is redundant